Psalm 127:3-5 TLV,
Behold, children are a heritage of Adonai —the fruit of the womb is a reward.
As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the gate.
What an amazing passage! What a blessing children are to us from God himself. I know I was blessed with two. Two amazing little bundles of energy that, while they are turning me grey, I wouldn't give up for anything in the world. I truly was blessed when Adonai gave them to my husband and I. Especially when I didn't think I ever could have children. It was a surprise when I was pregnant with my miracle child, my daughter. Additionally when my son came into the world. I'd wanted more children, but these where the two children God blessed us with.
A month after my son was born my right arm suffered nerve damage. It was put in a sling and I was told that it would be permanent. Part of the cause was from blood clotting in the arm from a reaction to prior injuries combined with medicinal birth control. With a seventeen month old and a one month old, learning to become left handed and cope with the loss of the right, we couldn't take the chance of having another and making my situation that much more difficult - and with birth control being a contributing factor... well my husband made the decision to go and ensure that the chance of pregnancy was reduced to immaculate conception. Elohim wasn't finished with us though. Two years later, He healed me! The full story on that isn't mine to tell, but God didn't just heal my arm, but of all the issues inside me that had made the doctors think I couldn't have children. No more uteral issues, no more cysts on my ovaries, nothing. My doctor couldn't believe it when I had my next checkup.
So now here I was, having had two children who where easy pregnancies comparatively. I was high risk with my daughter because of uteral issues which since healed, and my son was better yet. Two easy labors by almost all standards, my daughter coming in six hours with only the use of laughing gas and my son in exactly two hours without a single drug. A deep desire for more children and the physical ability to have them. And a husband who no longer had the physical ability nor the desire for more.
For a few years I struggled with this, this constant feeling like I wasn't done. Like there where more children to be a part of our lives. I felt like I was mourning for children that didn't even exist. Like I was missing children that had never even been conceived. My husband was supportive, yet baffled. He didn't understand and it of course caused quite a bit of tension in our marriage at times. Adoption to him wasn't an option nor a calling, while I felt some pull towards it. Fostering was absolutely out. I have the utmost respect for families with the strength to do that, but the idea of a child having to leave my home to go to a bad situation or the stories of the situations these kids can come from breaks my heart. My husband and I both have hearts that go out to these children, and constantly pray for the Foster Parents we know and those we don't. But it isn't something either of us could handle well at all.
So what was this? Why would God give me such a strong pull, such a strong desire for more children if it was only going to cause issues in my marriage? Why would God have given me and my husband two such separate desires when this is such a major topic? Neither of us could comprehend what was going on. Through much prayer though, we did find the answer. A subject that can come in passing a few times during our discussions of children but never really discussed in depth. A subject that kept showing up when I was online, ads, subjects in groups, it just kept popping up!
Then my husband sat me down one day and seriously asked me, did I think that Surrogacy was something we could do? At first I was in shock, we where really talking about this! Here was something that would give me the pregnancy I felt called to without changing the size of our family. Who better to give the gift of a child to someone, than someone who has felt that desire for a child? I've felt the longing when I didn't think I could have children. I've felt the longing after I've been blessed with two miracles. I could be the tool for someone else to receive that blessing! What a gift on it's own!
My husband and I had been praying without ceasing, researching, talking. After a long period of this we both were coming to believe that this was God's calling. This was why I've felt that pull and he hasn't. This was what God had planned for us at this stage. There was still a touch of hesitancy for him clinging though, so we didn't apply. Then, at a friends party, he saw so many babies in the room. Me with them, him with them; he's always been amazing with babies - although he calls them little aliens. His heart felt something like mine does, the love that goes out to all of them, the heart-felt knowledge that these are such gifts from Adonai, such bundles of blessings. That night we spoke again about surrogacy and made the decision to apply.
From looking at Surrogacy Canada Online we didn't even think I could qualify. I had a record with mental health, I was still attending counselling actively. These things seemed to instantly disqualify any potential surrogates. After prayer we realized though that if this was something that God really was calling us to do, then I would be accepted. If he wasn't then I would be rejected. So what could we loose by making the leap of faith and applying? And you know what? My application was approved within two hours. Two hours! I had to do the phone interview the next day, and that went with flying colors as well and so I was put on the companies prospective surrogate list! What an affirmation!
Within hours we had already had six couple reach out to us. Our journey had begun. After a bump in the road with matching with one couple we matched with an absolutely amazing couple over seas. It was a beautiful and instant connection between myself and my intended mother. After a lot of talking back and forth, outlaying our expectations and boundaries my children presented them a stuffed moose over a skype call, and asked them if they could help take care of their baby. Little did I know it was the mother's birthday when we asked to match with them!
The screening processes after this were quick, both my husband and I passed with flying colors. While the contract took quite a bit of time simply due to lawyer inavailability we were all on the same page with it very early on and the signing and drafting went very smoothly. It was only a couple of months from the time that we matched to the time that my husband and I were off to Toronto to meet the parents face to face and do the IVF transfer. Let me tell you, it is an odd feeling to meet someone face to face for the first time, and immediately get in a car together to go and be pregnant with their baby! I wouldn't trade anything about my experience for the world.
While I did struggle with side effects from the progesterone injections at the beginning of the pregnancy the rest of it went incredibly smoothly. No morning sickness, a little predictable fatigue, and all in all an easier pregnancy than with my own children! Even my husband said that horomonally I was better! It was wonderful being able to skype call the parents so regularly, bring them in to all the appointments with the midwives and ultrasounds, and they even came to visit in the middle of the pregnancy for a few weeks and a few appointments.
Baby girl came a couple weeks early, sadly keeping her parents from being present at the birth but thankfully giving us enough warning that they still arrived the same day. On a friday morning, at an undecent hour, she announced that she was on her way quite explosively as my water broke. My husband slept as the midwife came out to our home and gave me an exam while on a skype call with the parents. They immediately began to look into flights and plan their arrival in Canada for their daughter. Later that afternoon my husband and I settled into the birthing suit at the midwifery clinic where she would be born, all the benefits of a home birth with none of the negatives! Because we knew that the parents would not be able to be present for the birth of their baby they hired a birth photographer that was able to come out and take some amazing (and modest) pictures for them to still feel a part of her birth. It wasn't until Friday night that I started labor, and because of my water breaking I couldn't get into the birthing pool immediately, but it wasn't long before I was in heavier labor and they began to prepare the pool for me. Now, the suite had recently been renovated; and apparently some plumbing was in a little backwards... So the midwife prepares the pool and believes she has turned off the water and goes upstairs into the clinic proper. A few minutes later the photographer comments that she hears water, and soon there is the photographer, my husband, and two midwives all bailing water out of an overflowing pool, trying to turn off the water,and clean up the mess all while I am holding the garden hose over the toilet to keep more water from adding to this - and that's of course when I have to go into heavy, active labor. It's hilarious now to think of the scene, but it was even funny then, complete with laughter between the contractions.
When I did get to get into the pool it was glorious, I loved being able to have a water birth and deliver naturally with only essential oils and hot water as my aids. Baby girl didn't want to come out easily though and it was three and a half hours of pushing before she was welcomed to the outside world, and side effects of the birth to match that I am still dealing with but thankfully Elohim did protect both her and I and I have nothing too serious to recover from. She came in in the early morning hours of Shabbat. Laboring on the Sabbath, oh my! By that evening her parents arrived and I had the blessed ability to record them meeting their daughter, a video I will cherish forever.
Five months later and that little girl has brightened all our lives, its an experience I will keep in my heart forever and no matter the issues I had with it I don't regret even one moment, I know Adonai has guided this journey and blessed our lives because of it. I'm continuing to pump milk for babies in need, which is allowing this to keep blessing more and more lives.
It's been a journey of laughs, tears for good and tears for bad, joys, pains, and moments I felt my heart would burst at the overall love that has come out of this. I was so blessed by this journey that I can not even put it into words, simply put I praise Adonai for being a part of giving the gift of a child to an amazing couple.
The screening processes after this were quick, both my husband and I passed with flying colors. While the contract took quite a bit of time simply due to lawyer inavailability we were all on the same page with it very early on and the signing and drafting went very smoothly. It was only a couple of months from the time that we matched to the time that my husband and I were off to Toronto to meet the parents face to face and do the IVF transfer. Let me tell you, it is an odd feeling to meet someone face to face for the first time, and immediately get in a car together to go and be pregnant with their baby! I wouldn't trade anything about my experience for the world.
While I did struggle with side effects from the progesterone injections at the beginning of the pregnancy the rest of it went incredibly smoothly. No morning sickness, a little predictable fatigue, and all in all an easier pregnancy than with my own children! Even my husband said that horomonally I was better! It was wonderful being able to skype call the parents so regularly, bring them in to all the appointments with the midwives and ultrasounds, and they even came to visit in the middle of the pregnancy for a few weeks and a few appointments.
Baby girl came a couple weeks early, sadly keeping her parents from being present at the birth but thankfully giving us enough warning that they still arrived the same day. On a friday morning, at an undecent hour, she announced that she was on her way quite explosively as my water broke. My husband slept as the midwife came out to our home and gave me an exam while on a skype call with the parents. They immediately began to look into flights and plan their arrival in Canada for their daughter. Later that afternoon my husband and I settled into the birthing suit at the midwifery clinic where she would be born, all the benefits of a home birth with none of the negatives! Because we knew that the parents would not be able to be present for the birth of their baby they hired a birth photographer that was able to come out and take some amazing (and modest) pictures for them to still feel a part of her birth. It wasn't until Friday night that I started labor, and because of my water breaking I couldn't get into the birthing pool immediately, but it wasn't long before I was in heavier labor and they began to prepare the pool for me. Now, the suite had recently been renovated; and apparently some plumbing was in a little backwards... So the midwife prepares the pool and believes she has turned off the water and goes upstairs into the clinic proper. A few minutes later the photographer comments that she hears water, and soon there is the photographer, my husband, and two midwives all bailing water out of an overflowing pool, trying to turn off the water,and clean up the mess all while I am holding the garden hose over the toilet to keep more water from adding to this - and that's of course when I have to go into heavy, active labor. It's hilarious now to think of the scene, but it was even funny then, complete with laughter between the contractions.
When I did get to get into the pool it was glorious, I loved being able to have a water birth and deliver naturally with only essential oils and hot water as my aids. Baby girl didn't want to come out easily though and it was three and a half hours of pushing before she was welcomed to the outside world, and side effects of the birth to match that I am still dealing with but thankfully Elohim did protect both her and I and I have nothing too serious to recover from. She came in in the early morning hours of Shabbat. Laboring on the Sabbath, oh my! By that evening her parents arrived and I had the blessed ability to record them meeting their daughter, a video I will cherish forever.
Five months later and that little girl has brightened all our lives, its an experience I will keep in my heart forever and no matter the issues I had with it I don't regret even one moment, I know Adonai has guided this journey and blessed our lives because of it. I'm continuing to pump milk for babies in need, which is allowing this to keep blessing more and more lives.
It's been a journey of laughs, tears for good and tears for bad, joys, pains, and moments I felt my heart would burst at the overall love that has come out of this. I was so blessed by this journey that I can not even put it into words, simply put I praise Adonai for being a part of giving the gift of a child to an amazing couple.
